Emotional changes during pregnancy - It's the changes in hormone levels that are making your moods change so suddenly, making you weepy and sad one minute and on top of the world the next. On top of that we all occasionally feel anxious about how good we're going to be as parents. Your changing body shape can disturb your self-image, too. Emotionally, pregnancy can be very difficult.
Hormonal changes during pregnancy
There are enormous changes in your body during pregnancy and, because of this, your mood is likely to change often. You might find yourself being hypercritical and irritable, you might have exaggerated reactions to minor events, you may feel unsure of yourself and panicky sometimes, and you may have bouts of depression and crying.
It's normal to go through all of these things because you're less in control of your feelings than usual. The swinging levels of hormones have taken over and are controlling your moods the way a conductor controls an orchestra. So don't feel guilty or ashamed if you show your irritation, anger, or frustration. If you explain what's happening, most people will understand. At work, you may have to struggle to keep up an appearance of calm. This effort will definitely pay off, especially if you plan to go back to your job after the birth of your baby.
Worries about pregnancy
However positive you are about your pregnancy, it's normal to have worries sometimes. One moment you're thrilled at the prospect of your new baby, the next you're feeling terrified of the new responsibilities to come. Becoming a parent is a time of reassessment and change, of worries and fears.
The first and most important thing you have to do is to accept your pregnancy. This may sound obvious, but there are some women who blithely sail through the early months of pregnancy giving it as little thought as possible, which is especially easy until the baby begins to show. You and the baby's father have to come to terms with the pregnancy and begin to think about the reality. Until now your thoughts about a baby and parenthood may always have been in soft focus, a pastel picture of a loving threesome.
Conflicting feelings are sure to surface once you begin to accept the realities to come. Don't worry - it's good to have conflicting feelings. It's normal to feel this way so don't feel bad about it. It means that you're genuinely coming to terms with the situation. You won't have the shock some people do, who wait to face all this when they bring their baby home.
Your changing shape
You might also be troubled by the changes in your body shape and might worry that you look unattractive. You may feel strange, even unrelated to the body in which you find yourself. Don't worry about your shape - a pregnant woman looks sensuous and beautiful. Thinking of pregnant women as fat, and therefore ugly, is essentially a Northern European attitude: many other cultures see pregnant women as sensuous and beautiful. Don't look at your increasing curves with despair, think of them as a reaffirmation of life. See your roundness as ripeness, and glory in your body's fertility. Feel confident and proud of your shape.
Fears
Perhaps you worry about labour - whether you'll be able to cope with the pain, whether you'll scream, lose control of your bowels, or need an episiotomy or an emergency Caesarean? Most of us do get anxious about these things, but there's no need. Labour is usually straightforward and it doesn't really matter how you behave. You may be surprised at how calm you are or you may not be calm at all, and both are okay. Just remember that your birth attendants have seen it all before, so there's nothing for you to feel embarrassed about.
You may worry about how good a parent you'll be, whether you'll hurt or harm your baby, or not care for her properly. These are normal feelings and represent very reasonable fears. Many people don't know much about baby care and worry about doing a good job. The answer is to get some hands-on experience - handle and care for a newborn baby if you can. Perhaps you could babysit for a friend's baby, or spend some time with her? If you change and cuddle someone else's baby, it'll give you some confidence. Try to get your fears into perspective - you probably had similar worries about starting a job.
Superstitions
You may find you're more superstitious than usual. In the past, old wives' tales and superstitions were ways of explaining an inexplicable world. But with the excellent medical care available today, your chances of having a damaged child are very low. Something you see as a bad omen certainly doesn't mean that anything will go wrong with your baby.
Will my change of moods affect my baby?
You may worry that your changing moods will somehow affect your baby. Your baby does react to your moods and may start kicking when you're angry or upset, but your different emotions don't seem to have any harmful effect on your baby (see also A mother's influence). Dreams and nightmares can be very vivid, and you may find that you wake up suddenly, feeling hot, drenched in sweat, and with your heart racing. Don't worry - this won't harm your baby. On the other hand, your baby enjoys your good moods, when you're excited and happy. When you feel good, your baby feels good. When you're relaxed, your baby also feels tranquil. If there's something that makes you feel content and happy, such as listening to music, dancing gently, painting - do as much of it as you can and share the good feelings with your baby.
Practical problems during pregnancy
Everyday difficulties that you'd normally deal with quite calmly can turn into dramas during pregnancy. Keep a level head, and try not to overreact.
Finances
Financial problems are always one of the main causes of stress between a couple, and they can become especially troubling during pregnancy. You may find it difficult to cope with a reduction in income, even if you plan to return to work, but remember that you're in this together. Work out before the birth how you're going to manage on your income once your baby has arrived.
Housing
Moving or expanding your home may be something that you have to think about - perhaps extra space will be needed, or there may be a lack of facilities for babies and children in your area. All this can be stressful, and tends to be worse when you're pregnant. If you must move - and it's not the best idea from a physical point of view - do it before your pregnancy is too advanced. ( Doctissimo.com )
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